By David Finch
A memoir of marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and one man’s quest to be a better husband.
Marriage is not the easiest thing even when you are “normal”. Now let’s throw in undiagnosed Asperger. That’s where this book picks up. A struggling marriage (after being “best friends” since High School) and an online test. The online test leads to actual tests and the discovery that David has Asperger’s (at 30) (which explains a lot).
Yes, the book is about one family struggling with the disease but as a married man, it’s a gentle reminder about living together (and staying married) (happily). It’s an incredible love story and well written (funny too).
David would collect inspirations through out the day (usually after an argument) and put them on scraps of paper, envelops and notebooks. These jotted down notes first became an article in the New York Times (called Somewhere inside, a path to empathy) then into this book which is divided to 13 chapters (or lessons learned).
If you have Asperger Syndrome, are married, or are thinking about getting married you should check out this book (or don’t). Best of luck.
A few quotes to give you a feel:
“Don’t mind our son,” my parents would say to guests as I pushed myself down the the hallway floor on my face. The brushing sensation of blended-fiber carpet pile against my forehead put me in a place of tranquillity that to this day I can’t achieve with sex, drugs, love, or money. Their guests would cautiously step back against the wall, allowing me to pass. “That’s just our Dave.”
Opportunity for change was everywhere, I noticed. When I thought of something I wanted to address, or when I learned something in an argument with Kristen, I would write it down. Don’t change radio station when she’s singing along. When she’s on the phone, don’t force yourself into the conversation. Don’t sneak up on her. I wrote these little gems everywhere: on loose leaf paper, in my notebooks and journals. on my computer and phone.