Thursday 30 Oct 2014

Courtney Love Claims Muppets Are Rapists

It’s been a while since I heard a great crazy Courtney Love story.  Apparently in the last Muppets movie the fun furry little hand puppets covered Nirvana’s classic teen angst anthem “Smells Like Teen Spirit”.  The Muppets weren’t the only ones with something stuck up their butt though.  Apparently this really pissed Courtney Love off.  She claims that the cover “rapes the memory” of her late husband.  I’ve heard the song and it isn’t the Muppet’s best work but let me defend the likes of Kermit, and Fozzy Bear.  First off Courtney, let’s be honest, you’ve basically raped the memory of Kurt over and over again for the last 20 years or so.  If the memory of Kurt Cobain were a little boy you’d be Gerry Sandusky. At this point I think poor Kurt has been spinning so much in his grave he may have burrowed himself out of his casket accidentally.  He’s been turning like a pig with an apple in it’s mouth over an open fire for quite some time now. Courtney states that she did not give permission for the song to be used in the Muppet movie.  When I heard that I thought the looney Love may actually have a decent point.  But let’s not kid ourselves here, after all this is Courtney Love we’re talking about.  The woman makes Lindsay Lohan look like she really has her act together (sorry Lindsay Lohan).  Turns out Courtney actually doesn’t have the rights to a lot of Kurt’s music and furthermore she doesn’t have the distribution rights to any of Nirvana’s catalogue.  She sold those rights to a company a long time ago.  Oh darn she was so close to having a legitimate argument too.  In her defense it may be hard to keep track of that stuff when you’re in a constant drug and alcohol induced haze all the time.  I hear she has her own wing named after her at the rehab center.  Not because she donated money but because it’s just where she always stays when she’s there.  So as it turns out the Muppets are not rapists. Thank God because it’d be really embarrassing to have registered sex offenders living on Sesame Street.  I’m guessing the moment when Kermit was forced to knock on Burt and Ernie’s door and tell them that they were living next door to a rapist it would have been slightly awkward.  Rock on Muppets.  The Muppet version of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” is below.  RIP Kurt.

Leave a Comment