Sorry guys I know you all love Chris Cornell. Â Heck I love the guy but he’s officially uncool. Â You may be asking yourself how I came to this conclusion. Â Well, believe it or not, it all happened after Whitney Houston died. Â That’s right it’s all Whitney Houston’s fault. Â Right after Whitney Houston thought it’d be a good idea to have a nice cocktail of boos and pills before playing rubber ducky the tributes just came flowing out from all corners of the entertainment biz. Â One of those tributes was the one and only Chris Cornell. Â Chris did a rendition of “I Will Always Love You”. Â I know what you’re saying “But I thought that was awesome Coach you’re a dick!”. Â Well take it easy I thought the song itself was great too. Â So if I thought the song was cool how does this make Chris Cornell uncool? Â Well it dawned on me when I had a conversation with my Mom. Â I was visiting my parents and my dear old Mom asked me a question. Â She walked into the room and said “Coach” OK maybe she didn’t call me Coach but just go with it. Â Anyway she said “Have you ever heard of this guy Chris Cornell?”. Â Stunned and slightly alarmed I said “Yes why?”. Â I just assumed he had died or something and my Mom saw his name in the news which is why I was alarmed. Â But then she said “Oh he did the most magnificent version of a Whitney Houston song I love him”. Â That’s right my mother has heard of Chris Cornell. Â Not only has my mom heard of Chris Cornell but she “loves him”. Â Sorry Chris I love you and I love the cool cover but if my Mom likes you you’re automatically in the uncool category. Â There’s really nothing I can do about it. Â Once you’re on my Mom’s radar you’re uncool. Â I mean you’re talking about a lady who has a Shania Twain greatest hits album. Â She actually paid to see Tony Danza perform live. Â Sorry Chris I hate to do this but you’re officially uncool. Â I think the only way you may be able to be cool again would be to do something controversial. Â Show up at the Grammy’s drunk and piss on the red carpet or something. Â In the mean time I’ll do my part and play the “Superunknown” album in front of my Mom to make her opinion change. Â Thanks for all the years of coolness though. Â The Whitney Tribute is below. Â I will always love you Chris.