Wednesday 23 Apr 2014

Chris Cornell Is Officially Uncool

Sorry guys I know you all love Chris Cornell.  Heck I love the guy but he’s officially uncool.  You may be asking yourself how I came to this conclusion.  Well, believe it or not, it all happened after Whitney Houston died.  That’s right it’s all Whitney Houston’s fault.  Right after Whitney Houston thought it’d be a good idea to have a nice cocktail of boos and pills before playing rubber ducky the tributes just came flowing out from all corners of the entertainment biz.  One of those tributes was the one and only Chris Cornell.  Chris did a rendition of “I Will Always Love You”.  I know what you’re saying “But I thought that was awesome Coach you’re a dick!”.  Well take it easy I thought the song itself was great too.  So if I thought the song was cool how does this make Chris Cornell uncool?  Well it dawned on me when I had a conversation with my Mom.  I was visiting my parents and my dear old Mom asked me a question.  She walked into the room and said “Coach” OK maybe she didn’t call me Coach but just go with it.  Anyway she said “Have you ever heard of this guy Chris Cornell?”.  Stunned and slightly alarmed I said “Yes why?”.  I just assumed he had died or something and my Mom saw his name in the news which is why I was alarmed.  But then she said “Oh he did the most magnificent version of a Whitney Houston song I love him”.  That’s right my mother has heard of Chris Cornell.  Not only has my mom heard of Chris Cornell but she “loves him”.  Sorry Chris I love you and I love the cool cover but if my Mom likes you you’re automatically in the uncool category.  There’s really nothing I can do about it.  Once you’re on my Mom’s radar you’re uncool.  I mean you’re talking about a lady who has a Shania Twain greatest hits album.  She actually paid to see Tony Danza perform live.  Sorry Chris I hate to do this but you’re officially uncool.  I think the only way you may be able to be cool again would be to do something controversial.  Show up at the Grammy’s drunk and piss on the red carpet or something.  In the mean time I’ll do my part and play the “Superunknown” album in front of my Mom to make her opinion change.  Thanks for all the years of coolness though.  The Whitney Tribute is below.  I will always love you Chris.

 

 

5 Comments

  1. Warriorwoman25 says:

    LOL! COACH!! How old is your Mom? I’m 53 and I LOVE CC & Soundgarden! My son is 21 and HE LOVES CC and Soundgarden. I took him to a meet & greet several years ago and introduced him to Chris Cornell. I also took my son to Soundgarden’s concert last July in Chicago.

    My son and I made a couple of wonderful memories together because of Chris Cornell. To me, that makes him UBER-COOL.

    If you think Chris is uncool, does that mean you think your Mom is uncool? I don’t think that’s what you think at all!! That would mean you are uncool! *grin*

    On another note, I never want to see Chris Cornell fall under the influences of a substance again. He’s a stronger person for conquering those demons. I applaude him for his strength and courage. He’s a happier man today, surrounded by a family that loves him.

    Take care, Coach! And give your mom a hug!!!

    Reply
    • Coach says:

      My Mom turns 61 later this month. My Mom is great but I’m just not sure cool would be a word to describe her. She thinks she’s cool but usually by the time she’s onto something it’s out of style. You on the other hand sound like a really cool mom so keep it up. Thanks for reading.

      Reply
  2. Chris Bro says:

    hear hear Warrior Woman. Do you live in Chicago? I love that city.

    Reply
  3. Warriorwoman25 says:

    Chris Bro – I live in the southern part of Illinois – across the river from St. Louis, MO area….. But, I visit Chicago EVERYTIME Chris Cornell or Soundgarden play in that area. :)

    Reply
  4. Chris says:

    I used to play in soccer tournaments down there. Hint the next time Black Taxi is in Chicago you should take your son to see them. They are brilliant live.

    Reply

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