Wednesday 17 Sep 2014

Coach Weighs In – Debt Ceiling

OK I’m not even going to pretend I have any idea what the debt ceiling is.  You have to excuse me for my ignorance though because it’s not my fault.  I try not to pay attention to anything going on in Washington for too long because blood just shoots out of my nose and I wake up three days later in a dumpster not knowing how I got there.  My question is is there a debt floor? And are there debt walls?  Apparently the President wants to raise the ceiling.  I guess this is a political version of raising the roof.  Remember that in the 90’s?  When people put both hands above their head and pumped them up and down?  We should totally bring that back.  Anyway I digress.  So the President wants to raise the ceiling and because the President wants to do something the republicans don’t.  I guess I can’t really blame them but let’s be honest it’s kind of like the blind leading the blind here.  It appears the dems have a plan and the republicans have a plan.  My question is what if both plans suck?  In fact I’m willing to bet the house that both plans suck because really when does a good plan ever come out of congress?  Although I do have to say that it was fun when we got those checks in the mail as part of a stimulus.  I remember I received 400 bucks one time.  That seemed like a good plan to me although that could be how we got into this mess so maybe not.  I’m not really sure why but to make things really suspenseful there was the added pressure of the deadline.  Who’s deadline it was I have no idea and what happened if we missed the deadline is still a mystery to me.  It was like a really boring episode of “24” with John Boner (you could call him Boehner all you want but we all know it’s Boner) instead of Jack Bauer.  They even have the same initials.  Of course like in any episode of “24” both sides reached an agreement just in the nick of time and avoided the world coming to an end.  At least I think that’s what was supposed to happen if they didn’t reach an agreement.  Boy both sides are just patting themselves on the back too. “Look everyone we agreed on something!”.  Holy sh*t I think I’ll wet my pants.  Like I always say we wouldn’t be in such a debt crisis if the morons in Washington knew how to stop spending so much money.  All in all this debt ceiling sounds brilliant.  Let’s give more money to someone who clearly has no idea what to do with it.  This is like giving Pete Rose a million bucks and a ride to the racetrack.  I’m sure it’ll all turn out well though I mean even Pete Rose has to win at the track sometimes right?  Oh crap are we screwed.

“Raise the roof…I mean ceiling. Screw it I’ll be dead soon anyway”

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