OK everyone being that cheating on your wife is the new black I felt it appropriate to come up with the greatest slime bag of all time. If cheating on your wife is the new cool thing these guys are the rat pack. I will be holding a tournament to see who the greatest scumbag of all time is. There will be 8 participants , all of whom have been involved in some of the greatest, most salacious wife cheating scandals of all time. The tournament will start tomorrow. Today we meet each of our contestants and reveal the seeding. I guess this is your opportunity to get refreshed on some of these guys. Their seed for the tournament is in parenthesis next to their name.
The scumbag participants.
(1)Woody Allen – Woody is our number one seed. He not only cheated on his wife but he cheated on her with her adopted daughter. Ouch. Woody and Sun Yi are still married but it’s still creepy after all these years. Having an affair with your step daughter takes the cake. That’s be like if Mike Brady had sex with Marcia Brady. Although I’m pretty sure that guy was gay but you get the idea.
(2)Arnold Schwarzenegger – This scandal is immediately one of the greatest of all time. Have you seen the woman he had an affair with? Holy crap she looks like a nightmare. Also the fact that he had a secret kid and it was the maid makes it that much worse. Nice knowing you Arnold we’ll probably never hear from you again.
(3)Tiger Woods – The sheer volume of women separates Tiger from a lot of other scum bags. I don’t think anyone cheated with as many different women as Tiger did. Also the sluttiness of the women may be unmatched. Most were strippers and porn stars. Add all that in with the fact that his wife is a Swedish model and you have one of the ultimate scumbags.
(4)Jesse James – Sandra Bullock is a cutie and just as she wins an academy award and reaches the pinnacle of her career you get busted for nailing a slut with a swastika tattoo. Nice job scumbag.
(5)Bill Clinton – Think whatever you may about Clinton politically the guy’s kind of scummy. The girls he nailed while in office were like a trailer park beauty pageant. Oh and yes Bill oral sex is sex. BJ’s do count.
(6)John Edwards – Cheating on your wife when she has cancer is pretty bad. I would think that ads a little insult to injury. However it still doesn’t put you at the top of this list which goes to show how truly scumbaggy the rest of the guys on this list are. At least she wasn’t in the house and she wasn’t some kind of prostitute or something.
(7)Eliot Spitzer – The former Governor of New York was busted for visiting a prostitute. If you look on the bright side she was a whore so she probably meant nothing. He didn’t do anything in his own house or bed, and she was totally hot. In the world of wife scandal this is pretty minimal.
(8)Hugh Grant – People seem to have forgotten that this guy, who is now a movie sweet heart, got caught having sex in his car with a prostitute named Divine Brown. More perplexing is the fact that he was married at the time to model Elizabeth Hurley. Yea that’s right he cheated on his model wife in his car with a horrible looking crack whore. The reason why he was in his car was because he didn’t have enough money to get her to her hotel room. Seriously man WTF?
And those are the participants. We begin voting tomorrow to see who the biggest scumbag of all time is.