First and foremost let me just send my congratulations to the happy young couple. Not that they’re ever going to see this but still. My first impression of the new Princess is holy crap is she hot. Seriously she’s way hotter than Princess Diana ever was. I here Princess Kate even wears her seat belt. OK that was cruel sorry. I kind of feel sorry for Kate though. I mean look at the family she has to marry into. What a bunch of cold stiffs and nut jobs they are. Prince William seems like a pretty normal guy but look at his dad and his grandmother. I saw that movie “The Queen”. What a bitch she is. When is she going to die already? I say it’s only a matter of time before that big eared dope Prince Charles just goes ahead and kills her. He can’t go to jail right? I wonder how the reception is going to be. I’ll bet anyone 2:1 odds that Prince Harry gets drunk and tries to hook up with Kate’s sister, Pippa. She’s pretty freaking hot too. You’d never know by that God awful name though. I see Prince William was wearing some kind of red military garb. Kind of looked like something that came out of Michael Jackson’s closet. Hey Prince William are those the same bright red uniforms you guys wore in the winter of 1776? Red uniforms are a great idea if you’re fighting in the snow. So is everyone standing in one straight line. Who won that war? Yea that’s right we did. Which is why we really shouldn’t care about the royals. First off like I said we won the war and are no longer under the oppressive rule of the monarchy. Also they don’t do anything. The royal family are just a bunch of figure heads. It’s really just make believe fairytale stuff. They don’t pass any laws or anything parliament does that. I think the queen signs every law but it’s really only ceremonial if I’m not mistaken. I do wish Prince Harry the best though. Just one word of advice for the future king. Shave your head now. I noticed you have kind of a bald spot going on. Almost like a Friar Tuck thing starting to happen. I’d shave it now so people get used to it and when you do go totally bald no one will know. Just a few words of advice from Coach. Kate stay hot and Pippa you go ahead and call me sweetie.
“If your loser brother goes near my Sister I’ll effing kill him”