Wednesday 03 Sep 2014

Coach Weighs In – The Grammy’s

OK I have a few notes about the Grammy’s.  I think it’ll be easier for everyone if I just do this in bullet point form.  So here are my notes on last night’s award show.

- John Mayer – Couldn’t tell if it was Johnny Depp or John Mayer for the first half of the show.

- Bruno Mars – I can’t tell if he looks like a young James Brown, a young Erik Estrada, or a black Beavis.  Maybe it’s all three (photo below).  Either way I think the dude has some talent.  Not too shabby Bruno.

- Niki Minaj – I understand that after Lady Gaga the record companies broke out their cookie cutter and made you the black Lady Gaga.  The only problem is Lady Gaga is cooler, smarter, and more talented.  Please go away soon.

- Arcade Fire – It’s great that they won the big award but let’s not get too excited.  No this doesn’t mean rock and roll is back.  Believe me Lady Gaga will win it next year.  Also wtf was that song they played first?  That sounded like crap.  Thank God they played the best song last.

- Bob Dylan – Yikes.  At least they had Mumford and Sons and the Avett Brothers drowning him out.  No offense to any Dylan fans but the guy sings like somebody who has throat cancer.

- Mumford and Sons – Possibly the best performance of the night.  Well done boys.

- Justin Beiber – Awwww that’s cute now go away and let the grown ups play ok sweetie? Anyone else think he looked like Wormser from “Revenge of The Nerds” when he was dancing with Usher?

- Lady Gaga – Showing up in an egg is both the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen and the most brilliant thing ever all at the same time.  For the record I like Lady Gaga.  I think she’s more rock and roll than half of the rock and roll bands that were at the award show.  Remember the days when people used to say “damn did you see what Guns and Roses did at the award show last night?”.  Say what you will but no one’s talking about what the King’s of Leon did last night.  Anyone who says she’s copying Madonna just doesn’t get it.  She’s “copying” Madonna the same way every rock band for the last 40 years has “copied” the Beatles or the Stones.  She’s a great pop act who grew up with Madonna.  I think she tips her cap to Madonna a lot and Madonna doesn’t seem to have a problem with it so why does everyone else?  Lady Gaga has talent and charisma and so did Madonna.  You can’t “copy” talent and charisma.

- Aretha Franklin – When they were showing clips of Aretha throughout the years it was like watching one of those things you put in water over night and watch them grow.  Each year she just got bigger and bigger.  The fact that they were paying tribute to her is a little odd being that Dolly Parton won the lifetime achievement award. I know she’s had her health problems recently maybe they were planning on her being dead or something.

- Train – Any band that gives a shout out to Howard Stern during their acceptance speech wins mega cool points with me.

- Eminem – He’s like The Incredible Hulk but the opposite because I just love it when he’s angry.

- CBS – Really CBS do you have to bleep everything?  I have no idea what some people said.  Whoever is working the button needs to grow some balls because you know some of that stuff wasn’t that bad.

- Christina Aguilera – Let’s recap the last calender year for Christina.  Album flopped, tour canceled due to lack of ticket sales, weight gain, botched anthem at the Super Bowl, and then you trip and fall at the Grammy’s.  Here’s some free advice from Coach.  I’d say lay low for 4 maybe 5 years.  That’s right stay home count your money and raise your kid.  Regroup and then five years from now make a surprise performance and everyone will make a big deal out of it.  Your welcome.

- Rihanna – How many times do we need to see Rihanna perform in one night?  I mean really didn’t it seem like she was on stage for an hour and a half? Oh and I’m no fashion guru by any means but I know enough not to wear horizontal stripes.

- Drake – Who are you and why are you here?

- Usher – Not a huge fan of Usher but he sure beat Rihanna at the Grammy’s.  Oh wait that was Chris Brown.

- Ricky Martin – doing his best to dispel the stereotype that gay people dress well.

- Katy Perry – She so wants us to look at her cans and I so do my best to oblige her.

OK That’s about all I can think of off the top of my head.  Overall I did kind of enjoy the show more this year than in recent years.

Bruno Mars or young Erik Estrada or young James Brown or black Beavis.

5 Comments

  1. Chris Bro says:

    brilliant man just brilliant. Next year I wouldn’t even have to watch I’ll just read Coach’s blog

    Reply
  2. Figman says:

    My daughter <3's Niki Manaj! As we speak, she is meeting with members of the Jakob Dylan and Susan Boyle fan clubs off you!

    Reply
  3. Coach says:

    haha I hope I don’t get Bieber flack. I don’t think anyone wants that.

    Reply
  4. Chris says:

    got that right Coach did you see what his fans did to wikipedia? After he didn’t win best new something

    Reply
  5. Thom I says:

    Coach you must have been reading my mind about the show.

    Reply

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