OK since this is the final week of 2010 I feel it’s a good time to get in my year end mode. I’ll be starting with my 1st annual year end awards. Here on the Coach’s Corner I do year end awards like no one else. Each year I will look back and point out all of the tremendous douche bags of the year. Make no mistake about it 2010 was chock full of douche bags. I’ve split them up into individual categories. So here is my year end list of the years biggest douche bags.
T.V. Douche Of The Year – Jay Leno – You graciously retired and left the show to Conan. Then you decided not to retire and have a show earlier than Conan’s thus stealing his guests and getting all the promotion and publicity. If that wasn’t bad enough you then took the show back from Conan. You claim that NBC told you they wanted you back at 11:30 and when they asked this you said “Well only if it’s OK with Conan”. It wasn’t OK with Conan and you took it anyway. You still beat Dave now but your audience isn’t what it used to be. You’re a tremendous douche.
Radio Douche Of The Year – Dr. Laura – Here’s some advice Dr. Laura. If you’re a white person just stay away from the N-word altogether. <cough>racist<cough>.
Music Douche Of The Year – Axl Rose – This one goes to a douche bag that left us for a while but has returned to his douchie glory. I think Axl thinks he’s the same Axl Rose from 1986. Seemingly every concert he played went horribly wrong and it was no fault but his own. Here’s an idea Axl. If you don’t want people to boo you and throw stuff at you don’t make them wait 2 hours for you to go on stage and don’t storm off and leave them. Just a suggestion.
Corprate Douche Of The Year – BP CEO – This was a no brainer. Although I don’t see what the big deal is I mean if the oil was in the ocean in the first place then what’s the big deal if the oil spills into the ocean? It’s natural right? What a douche.
Biker Douche Of The Year – Jesse James – You scored an attractive academy award winning actress. She seems pretty sweet and down to earth. Immediately after she accepts the award, that she worked so hard for and defines her career, you completely ruin her moment by cheating on her. Not only did you cheat on her but you cheated on her with a girl that has a tattoo of a swastika on her forehead. Nice job. DOUCHE!
Movie Star Douche Of The Year – Mel Gibson – Another no brainer. I listened to these tapes over and over again. I just couldn’t believe the train wreck. How he is not locked in a mental institution with padded walls is beyond me. When you think about it though couldn’t you see this coming? Did anyone really think Mel Gibson was stable? I mean the guy formed his own Church because the Catholic Church wasn’t strict or conservative enough. He thinks the Pope is too liberal. Yikes what a douche.
Sports Douche Of The Year – Brett Favre – Many can make an argument for Lebron James here but when you think about it all he is really guilty of is playing for a team he really wanted to play for. I mean can you really blame him for leaving Cleveland? Brett Favre has been engaged in douchie behavior for a good 3-4 years now and it all came to a head in 2010. The only thing worse than his performance on the field was his behavior of it. Brett decided to give it another go in 2010, after much wavering of course, because what would a summer be without ESPN salivating over the old gun slinger? He immediately sputtered out of the gate and just when the season was going in the crapper we found out that he sent a girl a picture of his penis. Nice move Brett. It’s a real shame you were beaten to death this season and forced to miss games. Hey Karma I’d like to introduce you to Brett Favre. You should have never played for a team not based in Green Bay douche!
Political Douche Of The Year – Rep. Charlie Rangel (Dem – NY) – This is the hardest category to choose being that every year there are so many douches in politics. But today I pick Rep. Rangel because who needs to pay taxes anyway? What’s that you’re the chair of the ways and means committee that writes US tax code? What a douche!
Religious Douche Of The Year – Pastor Terry Jones – You know this guy as the douche who wanted to burn the Koran. He was thrown out a church in Germany so of course he went ahead and started his own church in Florida. Sounds like a real cultured and intelligent human being. Don’t worry I’m sure God has a very special place for you Terry and it’s called hell. Enjoy!