Sunday 26 Oct 2014

The TSA

OK so there’s been some recent controversy surrounding the TSA.  I’m not really sure what TSA stands for but it seems as though they are the minimum wage employees in charge of protecting out nation’s airways from terrorists.  Because when you want someone to be highly motivated for such an important job I find the best way to do it is to pay them as little as possible.  Hey it works in Indonesia.  Anyway I’ve always been for as much policing as possible.  I think the Arizona immigration laws are too lean.  Why should we only limit ourselves to checking ID’s of illegal aliens?  What about the legal ones?  There are way more crazy legal aliens than illegal aliens I say sart checking everyone’s ID.  If you don’t like it then just do what I do and don’t go out of your house.  As for the TSA I don’t see what the problem is.  So you get felt up in front of a bunch of strangers.  It takes me back to my childhood days. It’s like being in the boy scouts all over again.  I guess it is hard for me to comment being that I’ve never left the tri-state area, let alone get on a plane, but I’m just saying I wouldn’t mind.  I’m 28 years old and I’m single so if somebody wants to get a piece thats fine with me, I’m a lonely guy.  I do find it odd, however, that all of a sudden they just decided to feel people up at airports.  They only started doing this recently and for about 9 years after 9/11 nothing happened and they weren’t feeling anyone up.  Seemed like everything was going pretty well to me.  Maybe this is all just some elaborate plan for whoever is in charge to feel someone up he really is hot for.  Some of you may be asking “well what’s the solution then Coach?”.  OK so maybe no one was asking that but I’ll tell you anyway.  Let’s limit the touching to certain people.  The first people that should be searched are super models and other very attractive women.  I know what you’re thinking and I have good reasons for this so get those dirty thoughts out of your head.  Super models and other very attractive women tend not to be very bright.  They can easily be manipulated and/or brainwashed.  If a terrorist gets a hold of one of them forget it.  In these cases I’d do the searching myself and believe me I’d be very thorough. It’s for our country dammit I’m a patriot.  The second group would be odd looking people.  I would define “odd looking” as the following.  Anyone of middle eastern decent.  Yeah I said it.  It’s called profiling deal with it. But “odd looking” people certainly aren’t limited to middle eastern people.  I say search any white dude who’s skin is a little more pale than the average white guy.  Any white dude with odd piercings or tattoos also should be searched.  Have a tattoo on your face?  We’ll have to search your stuff sir.  Any guy with really long hair as well as any guy with really short hair.  Sometimes those ex military people go crazy too.  Anyone from Texas, because they always have guns, as well as anyone who comes from a state that still has a militia, should all be searched.  Last and certainly not least fat people.  Fat people should be searched because they could be hiding a terrorist in their bodies.  In fact a terrorist could slip a bomb in a really fat person’s fat pocket without the person even knowing.  Although I don’t want really fat people flying anyway unless they buy two seats but that’s a whole different story.  I’m not sure who that leaves left to just walk through.  Oh yeah me I’m in none of those categories so I’m fine.  So if you’re feeling lonely this holiday season take a flight somewhere and go through security you won’t be disappointed.

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