Well it’s a slow day so I figured why not pick on Susan Boyle a little.  I tried thinking of someone else I could pick on I really did but then I saw that her Christmas album is due out and I couldn’t resist.  The album is called “The Gift”.  As Norm McDonald once said when referencing Kenny G’s Christmas album “Happy Birthday Jesus. I hope you like crap”.  I never really understood who buys these Christmas albums anyway I mean how many versions of “O Holy Night” or “Jingle Bell Rock” can one person really take?  I looked at the track listing for Susan’s album and of course there were no original tracks that I saw.  One interesting choice was a cover of Crowded House’s “Don’t Dream It’s Over”.  I can’t imagine the horror that must sound like.  Dammit I used to like that song too.  If Susan Boyle covers a song it’s like the kiss of death.  It’s kind of like when my Mom likes a song I know not to listen to it anymore.  Speaking of which I’m sure my Mom will just love this album.  I just hope she doesn’t make me buy it for her.  I haven’t listened to Susan Boyle’s new album.  I may be self loathing but I’m not masochistic.  So I guess this isn’t really an album review and I understand the Susan Boyle crowd is going to get mad and say how I’m just jealous.  Of course they have to figure out how to use the internet first.  I’m sure the Susan Boyle fan club will log onto their AOL accounts, that they still pay monthly for, and find a way to comment like they did last time.  Bring it Susan Boyle people.  I’ll snatch those canes out of your hands and make them replace your other hip.  OK clearly I’ve lost direction here and have forgotten what I was even talking about in the first place.  Oh yeah Susan Boyle’s ugly and her music is boring.  There that’s it.

5 Comments

  • Lol! I really liked your article, its great not to mention HILARIOUS!!! I only ran across your article because I told my sister in law that I would purchase the new Susan Boyle Christmas cd for my mother in law who’s turning 85 tomorrow and she has an AOL account! Lol! Thanks for the laugh and yes Suzzie is ugly!

  • Thanks for reading Angela. Glad you enjoyed it. Check back from time to time and try out some of the other content on the site too. Thanks again.

  • Well, it’s easy for Thom to make fun of Susan Boyle when he compares her to the gorgeous woman in his life…me thinks Coach may have a gorgeous blond woman in his life also. Seriously folks, Susan Boyle has a beautiful voice, but she needs to stick to genres that suit her “style.” That photo just makes me want to say “OY!” I wonder how she’d cover Scumbag Blues?

  • Yes I have a stunning blonde in my life. Unfortunately we’ve been friends since we were kids so nothing’s happening there. Oh well

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