Every now and then on my own blog I do a segment I call ten songs. I make up a category and choose ten songs within that category. Sometimes I just put my iPod on shuffle and pick the first ten songs that come up. That could be fun sometimes. Today’s category is Ten Rap Songs White People Like. That’s right these are ten rap songs white people just love to do the white guy dance to at parties. Just remember to turn these songs down when you’re in a rough neighborhood. What classifies as “rough” you ask? Well if you’re in a neighborhood with a Kennedy Fried Chicken or a “C-Town” supermarket I’d keep the radio low. Also if you’re on a street named after any prominent Black or Hispanic leader you should probably switch to a rock song. It’s OK I’m Hispanic I can say that. Oh and it’s not cool to say the N-word even if you’re singing along to a song so don’t do it. That’s not cool dude. Anyway here are the ten rap songs white people like. Sorry no Vanilla Ice guys not because white people don’t like him just out of principle.
10. Jay-Z – 99 Problems – One of the greatest lines ever “If you’re having girl problems I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems but a b*tch ain’t one”. I have 100 problems Jay-Z and a b*tch is at least one if not like 50.
9. Nas – Got Urself A Gun – I’m sure the NRA was cheering Nas on in this song. It almost made me want to run out and buy a gun. I’d love to see Charlton Heston dance to this song. Oh wait he’s dead now sorry. Well you know what mean.
8. Snoop Dogg – Gin and Juice – That’s right he spells his name with two “G’s”. You have to love Snoop anyone that could make a career out of getting high all the time has to have some bonus points. I mean why do you think Willie Nelson is still around?
6. Dr. Dre – Nuthin But A G Thang – I’m not sure if he’s a medical doctor or if he just has his Phd. The only words I know in this song are when they count in the beginning. 1 2 3 to the 4….. uhhh ok I’m done.
5. Tribe Called Quest – Scenario – This is the song every white thinks if he knows it makes him cool. The jig is up you’re not cool everyone knows this song. This is the debut of Busta Rhymes but we don’t care because we’re white. Love the early 90’s effects in this video.
4. Digital Underground – The Humpty Dance – The song for everyone who once got busy in a burger king bathroom. So many great lines in this song and the dance is white people proof it’s really easy to do.
3. Grand Master Flash – White Lines – Us white people love old school rap. Not sure why maybe it just seems less threatening or maybe it’s nostalgia. The first rapper inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame.
2. Black Sheep – The Choice Is Yours – Inevitably this song will come on in a bar and white guy will get all excited and start sining along “engine engine number 9” and then botch the entire rest of the song. They use this song in commercials now so you know it has to be big with the white folk.
1. Sugar Hill Gang – Rapper’s Delight – Another old school jam and another song that is continuously botched by a white guy in a bar. I don’t think anyone can ever cover this song it’d be too hard. Stop doing the robot dude. Seriously stop.
Note to old white people and my friend Jimmy: Whether you like it or not Rap is not a fad. It’s been around for 30 years so deal with it. Believe it or not I’ve actually heard people make this argument. That would be as if in 1985 someone said “boy this rock and roll thing is just a fad. Just you wait it’ll fade”. You guys are a cool crowd though so it’s not directed at you.